Tuesday, October 23, 2012

A new step forward

You know, I think this is the first time in a while that I watch something mushy that I don't feel lost or segregated from my feelings.

Who knows how long that will stay but I think moving on from the past and meeting someone new, hoping that meeting someone new can take things in a new direction. I think after all these years, a renewed feeling has finally set in place. This may be a short time feeling but I feel like there is that emptiness is no longer there. Although nothing is official yet and she has yet to decide whether or not things will go further or not; it makes me smile and feel warm knowing that she knows I care. Being with someone who has an emotional instability is difficult and tricky. I have been there many times and it doesn’t always end well. Long distance relationships don’t work out because the lack of physical contact or not being able to spend time together creates a very large gap in between the two.

Even if things end up not going well and it has to stay as a friendship; a part of me is settling with the past and the energy that is pushing me forward is there to keep me supported. Finding my ground again and relinking myself to new friends and rebuilding friendships with old friends is always helpful. It has been a few long years but I look forward to stepping out of the darkness that once kept me all balled up. 2010 and 2011 were some pretty rough years, however, I am moving my way through it now and it is a really good feeling and place of mind.

I look forward to what the days to come hold for me. I have settled with the reality and facts of it now. If you want to slip away and no longer be friends that is fine by me. I can’t just keep trying to care and want to be hopeful of restoring a friendship that was never meant to hold. As I look through the past and the present; the way you and I are, we would eventually clash. We don’t think of things the same way and I will eventually pick at you for the short sightedness of things. That is where I leave off and start this new road and chapter.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Positive energy

Around the start of the Summer I started trying to get into bed early.Throughout the years one of my biggest problem is sleep deprivation. The lack of sleep pulls me down and lets the emotional stress get in. Which leads to a cycle of not getting proper sleep, feeling worn out and not being able to do anything. However, things have been doing better in the recent months 
and getting into bed early has provided a much needed boost in energy.

It is a enjoyable feeling having my mind back on track. I do not feel as flustered or empty on a regular basis. Getting up in the mornings and enjoying the wake up, making breakfast and the lot is very relaxing. Restoring my energy has been a top priority for years and I am very happy to be on the right track now. Onward to some news.

In the last two months I've had a few slow moments but it has also been filled with some good events happening throughout the month. For the people who know me, I play paintball quite a bit on the weekends but I also help promote a local company here in Vancouver, BC that sells paintball markers. Ever since they released their new flagship marker the MILSIG Paradigm Pro, I have been working on reviews, details and general information for the marker itself and helping promote the niche market of magazine-fed play within the paintball community which has been very exciting for me. It is the first time I am getting into doing some reviews and interviews by video and testing out on how to do reviews or instructables via my DSLR. I look forward to doing more and hope to pick up some sponsorships from MILSIG for events.

All in all, post-summer season is coming along and all I have to do now is keep up with school work and exercise and the rest will be smooth sailing. All the best!