Tuesday, October 23, 2012

A new step forward

You know, I think this is the first time in a while that I watch something mushy that I don't feel lost or segregated from my feelings.

Who knows how long that will stay but I think moving on from the past and meeting someone new, hoping that meeting someone new can take things in a new direction. I think after all these years, a renewed feeling has finally set in place. This may be a short time feeling but I feel like there is that emptiness is no longer there. Although nothing is official yet and she has yet to decide whether or not things will go further or not; it makes me smile and feel warm knowing that she knows I care. Being with someone who has an emotional instability is difficult and tricky. I have been there many times and it doesn’t always end well. Long distance relationships don’t work out because the lack of physical contact or not being able to spend time together creates a very large gap in between the two.

Even if things end up not going well and it has to stay as a friendship; a part of me is settling with the past and the energy that is pushing me forward is there to keep me supported. Finding my ground again and relinking myself to new friends and rebuilding friendships with old friends is always helpful. It has been a few long years but I look forward to stepping out of the darkness that once kept me all balled up. 2010 and 2011 were some pretty rough years, however, I am moving my way through it now and it is a really good feeling and place of mind.

I look forward to what the days to come hold for me. I have settled with the reality and facts of it now. If you want to slip away and no longer be friends that is fine by me. I can’t just keep trying to care and want to be hopeful of restoring a friendship that was never meant to hold. As I look through the past and the present; the way you and I are, we would eventually clash. We don’t think of things the same way and I will eventually pick at you for the short sightedness of things. That is where I leave off and start this new road and chapter.

No comments:

Post a Comment