Driving forward

Trying to catch my breath and push forward. Mustering the energy and to realize a year has already gone by.
I am lost in my affection for someone. There always seems to be a catch. Fast forward a few months and I'm in a bit of a limbo. I seem to become super affectionate towards inanimate objects. Things that I settle into a comfortable feeling but I over explain my affection towards said inanimate objects. I am often filled with lots of energetic thoughts when I seem to really like someone. However, I am unable to fully commit my feelings to her because she, at the moment, is not particularly interested in guys. Yet when we are in person she is okay with me being a bit PDA and trying to flirt with her.

This leaves me in a pickle as I have the poor habit of trying to manage the impossible. I seem to want to try to sway her feelings by being who I am and just showing her the kindness and sweet person I am.
I don't like being in this limbo feeling because I become all over the place. I become obsessive with things I usually do not mention or talk about as much. For example, I will go on about music and how amazingly beautiful they sound on my speakers or headphones more than usual.

I like her. I really do but I don't know if she has feelings towards me or not. It would feel like it but its hard to figure these things out. I am hoping for the best but looking forward to the best and the future.

February will be a busy month.