Saturday, January 19, 2013

A happy smile for the day

I am a pretty mushy and affectionate person. Sometimes this gets me into trouble because it builds up and it just wants to go flying everywhere. It tends to happen when I have feelings for someone and I see a possible opportunity.It is like a flow of energy that just swooshes out and wants to wrap around someone. I often worry that I may be a bother or if my texts are bothering said person. It can be hard sometimes to know whether you are being bothersome or not. Texts can be unreliable at times where they don't receive it or that they are busy and simply not able to respond.

I met a girl sometime in summer and to keep things short this little trip will be a interesting and complex one.I honestly can say though that I am happy when she is around. Although nothing is official I notice the little things that subtly pull us together. It has given me a good chance to take things slowly and work out the little details. The challenges to pursue this relationship is unique in its own form to the typical trend. I feel confident  about this and where things are going though. I find it hard being friends with girls. Not something I do well. I think mainly because of me wanting to be affectionate with someone and being friends often at times its cause we get along well and it leads me into wanting to search for more. The result of not having things go my way and its sub-consciously stuck there in my mind. I am; emotionally strong willed I think. Despite all the bad luck and pretty apparent emotional let downs i've been through I have never thought "I'm going to stop dating" or "I give up" or "It is not worth while". I am the type of person who likes to spend my time with someone special and have what I call my happy aura. I like sharing that energy and being able to see that person happy and smile is always a warm feeling.

A smile is a reminder that we are feeling well and are not stuck thinking about the bothersome things in the back of our minds. A smile sweeps away all the stress and unhappy things. I had a pretty good day yesterday being able to play Paintball and seeing someone special has turned a slow week into a better one. To find myself happy in the affection side of the department is something I have longed for and I hope for the best in this pursuit. She surely makes me smile when I am around her.

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